Catalogue / The Funding Agent

The Funding Agent

Lorcan the badger — yours gets the name you choose

Reads the eligibility small print so you never write half an application you were never going to win.

Finds the grants you actually qualify for, and bins the ones you don’t.

There is money you qualify for and a hundred schemes you do not. The work is telling those apart, and it is the part everyone skips.

Takes off your team
4–12 hrs/wk

About €600–€1,800 a month of staff time at €35/hr

Pays per result
€50 per funding shortlist delivered

Quiet month: €45 minimum. Busy month: never more than €350. No monthly plan to sign. Setup €300–500 once, credited back at month 3.

Live in
14 days

Built to order for your stack, then a week in draft

Lorcan at work

Example · VANO fundingSchemes
3 messages
What is VANO actually eligible for?
Matched againstHeadcount, county, sector, trading age — what every clause turns on
Lorcan · shortlistTwo worth the paperwork, with the clause that qualified each.
Held for a person to signFour fail on trading age or headcount, the clause quoted.
Grants and schemesWasForty of them. No idea which two are real.NowTwo worth starting, four ruled out.
Two applications worth starting, and four you were never winning

What it does

  1. 01

    Matches your size, sector and county against what is actually open

  2. 02

    Throws out everything you do not qualify for, and says why

  3. 03

    Puts the deadlines in your calendar and drafts the first section

Plugs into

  • Google Calendar
  • Gmail
  • Outlook
  • Google Sheets
  • Google Drive

On something older or in-house? It reads a shared sheet instead — how it plugs in.

Questions people ask

Does it apply for the funding for me?

It drafts, you sign. Everything an application asks about your business comes from you or your own records, and nothing is submitted without a person approving it — an invented figure on a grant form is fraud, not a shortcut.

What does it cost to find funding?

€50 per shortlist delivered, with a €45 quiet-month minimum and a €350 ceiling. Consultants routinely charge a percentage of what you win; this charges for the search whether you win or not, which is why it will tell you when nothing fits.

What if I do not qualify for anything?

Then the shortlist is empty and it says so, with the clause that ruled each scheme out. That is a real answer worth having — most of the cost of grant hunting is the applications nobody was ever eligible for.

Hired most by startups.

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