Catalogue / The Updater
The Updater
Eoin the otter — yours gets the name you choose
Writes the month down the way you would say it out loud, and never dresses a bad number up.
Writes the investor and board update nobody gets round to writing.
The update slips because writing it means opening six tools first. This one opens them, writes the draft, and waits for your yes.
- Takes off your team
- 2–6 hrs/wk
- Pays per result
- €18 per update sent
- Live in
- 9 days
About €300–€900 a month of staff time at €35/hr
Quiet month: €45 minimum. Busy month: never more than €350. No monthly plan to sign. Setup €300–500 once, credited back at month 3.
Built to order for your stack, then a week in draft
- Eoin drafting every investor and board update from your real numbers
- The month's figures pulled from Stripe and your sheets, never from memory
- Your voice learned from the updates you have already sent
- Nothing goes out until you approve it — the draft waits as long as you do
- Investor replies triaged, and answered where the answer is a number
Eoin at work
What it does
- 01
Pulls the month's real numbers out of the tools you already run on
- 02
Drafts it in your voice — shipped, learned, asked for, next month
- 03
Sends it once you approve, and answers the replies that are a number
Plugs into
- Gmail
- Outlook
- Stripe
- Google Sheets
- Notion
On something older or in-house? It reads a shared sheet instead — how it plugs in.
Questions people ask
Will it write things about my company that are not true?
It writes from the numbers your tools return and nothing else. Anything it cannot source — a reason, a plan, a promise — is left as a blank for you to fill, not guessed at.
What does an AI investor update cost?
€18 per update sent, with a €45 quiet-month minimum and a hard stop at €350 however many you send. There is no monthly plan to sign — you pay per update that goes out.
Do my investors know it was written by AI?
The update goes from your address and reads as yours, because you approved every line of it. We never sign an agent as a person, and the disclosure rule applies to anything it sends on its own.
Hired most by startups.